Pieces of Me – Good Mom or Bad Mom

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Dear Diary,

Morning Thoughts

I filed for Pieces of Emerald to be an LLC today and wow that sounds crazy! My little blogging hobby has turned into a business. Who would have thunk that this would be a REAL business and a way that I provide for my family?

I took a few days away from Instagram because lately, I’ve been having this feeling of CHOOSING. Having to choose between blogging and being a good mom. Having to choose between working and focusing on school. Why does this always come back to being either a good mom or a bad mom? I just hate the feeling of not being enough. I know that I’m spreading myself a little thin here and I’m juggling quite a bit, but I also know that I’m a person that CRAVES busy. Is that weird to say?! I am not a chill person and honestly don’t know how to be! It’s my greatest strength, but also my weakness.

Late Nights Thoughts – Good Mom or Bad Mom

It’s 8:41 pm and I just finished washing dishes from dinner (lobster penne pasta from Costco – microwave style!), and I started running a (late) bath for Ryland and Rori. Then, all of a sudden all I hear is wailing. Full-blown wailing. I immediately turned around to see what was happening and Ryland rushes to me with blood gushing all over his face.

Rori runs after screaming and crying “I’m sorry, Ryland!!! It was an accident!” I immediately ran to get some tissue paper and checked him out. He had a bloody nose after Rori accidentally tossed a hard toy at his face. Accident? I don’t 100% buy it, but I do know that she felt bad and Ryland accepted her apology. Little sisters (eye rolls) amiright?! What was supposed to be a smooth bath turned into a crying fiasco for about 20 minutes to get them both to calm down. While all of this going down, between both of them crying, I’m thinking:

  • I feel so bad for Ryland
  • Where the hell is the damn wine
  • Oh for the love… Rori just stop crying you’re not the one that’s hurt
  • Rori probably meant that throw but didn’t think it would hurt so bad
  • And welllll Ryland that’s what you kind of get because you’re always “accidentally” tripping her

Yeah… those were my thoughts. Am I a bad mom for these thoughts?! gosh. I should be feeling all the sad feelings for them, but here I am thinking all these other thoughts – of course, I didn’t show those thoughts. I did what any mom would do, hug them, wipe the blood away, and say it’s going to be okay.

Anyways. It’s getting late so it’s time for me to check out and hit the sheets. Goodnight!

There you have it – a Piece of ME. xoxo

You may also be interested in: Pieces of Me – Coffee Talk Q&A

2 Comments

  1. Stephani
    February 21, 2020 / 8:26 am

    Love how real this is. Mom life is so tough and we are so hard on ourselves. You’re def not a bad mom for having those thoughts, you’re just a mom that has a lot going on and rushing around to get things done.. are you really a mom if that’s not the case haha! Anyway you’re amazing!! 😘😘

    Xo, Steph
    @sassandsun

    • Pieces of Emerald
      Author
      February 21, 2020 / 2:56 pm

      Thanks Stephanie for taking the time to read! Being a mom is so tough! There’s so much stigma about what a “parent should and shouldn’t do” there’s no dang perfect parent! We all make mistakes and are all doing the best we can, but we still get judged. So hard! YOU are an amazing mama and such a loyal POE FAM!!!!

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